Always
by KAISRE
Summary: When a part of you dies, you're going to eventually have to let it go. It's hard, but necessary. Yet in the midst of death and broken hearts, wings of hope will one day take you away from your shattered world. OLDFIC


**SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 147/148 AND MENTIONS FROM 156**

Even if you don't like Royalshipping, if you're a Ryo-fangirl (Or fanboy but it wouldn't play the same effect) please read this anyways. This is my own emotional vent and maybe some of you can find my own hidden message in this.

Info 

Characters- Ryo and Asuka

Shipping- RyoxAsuka

Rating- Teen for no obvious reason what-so-ever

**-X-**

"Did you hear?"

"Hear what?"

"Judai! He's back. He's been gone for so long but now he's back!"

"Yeah! The news is already all over the island! Lets go see what's happening!"

Asuka's eyes shot open at the news. She had been in a stage of complete melancholy for the past week. One week ago, she had woken up on the hard ground, the same area where the second portal was formed. She had been laying next to her dear brother, Jun, Sho, Edo, Kenzan, and all the others. They were finally happy to be back on earth, away from death duels, monster spirits, and the ailed lover of Judai.

But now Judai's back. Other voices have said that the rest are back. Asuka's heart raced as she remembered Ryo. He was back as well, wasn't he? He had fought hard, selflessly, and let go of all his power Chronos-sensei had told them.

He made it sound like that Ryo had died.

Asuka got up from her bench she was lying on. She quickly looked around for Fubuki. He was no where to be seen and Asuka didn't have the patience and time to look for him.

_I need to go and greet them. I'm so happy; they're all finally back!_

Asuka ran in the direction where everyone else was heading to for the welcome-back greetings. She dodged other people quickly and avoided getting trampled by the other students.  
"Let me through!" Asuka shouted, pushing away other people fiercely to see if they had really come back.

Her mouth split into a wide grin as she first laid her eyes on the exhausted Judai. Daichi was standing right beside him. Sho kneeled next to him.  
"Judai!" Sho cried. "Why'd you have to make us worry like that!?"

Asuka hadn't felt this relieved since Fubuki had regained his memory. Then that reminded her of Ryo.  
Judai stood up and laughed and waved. Not something you were expecting from a guy who went through all that. But somehow, Asuka noticed that his laughs and smiles seemed forced. There was definitely something bothering him. Daichi was bowing his head. It was hard to tell what his expression was.

Asuka, still smiling, asked, "Judai… Where's Ryo?"

Everyone feel silent. They didn't cheer, or laugh, or whistle, or wave. They just stood their awaiting an answer.

Judai's grin had vanished instantly. His brown eyes slowly sank down, avoiding the blonde's gaze. Daichi covered his face in his hands. And then, tears welled up in Sho's eyes. Blood began to leak from his mouth as he bit his lip with such force.

Asuka felt like she had said something wrong, but there was nothing wrong about her question. Nothing at all. Why were they acting like this? Asuka looked at Edo instead who stood at the front of the crowd. His blue eyes didn't look away from hers. She couldn't tell at all what he was thinking.

"Where's Ryo?" She said again. She wanted an answer.

Judai didn't give it to her.

Asuka then felt like something that was her own had been snatched away from right under her nose. She suddenly and recklessly and desperately grabbed the collar of Judai's jacket and started shaking him.

"Where is he!?"

He clenched his eyes, taking in the rough shaking. Then finally he opened his mouth and shouted in her face:

"He's dead! Kaiser's dead!"

Asuka quickly let go of him and back away swiftly as if he had some contagious disease.  
What happened? What did they do to him?

She looked at Edo and Fubuki as if they would clarify for her. The silver-haired one grabbed her forearm and led her away from the crowd, quickly enough before the girls started screaming and sobbing at Judai's outburst.

When they were away, Edo looked critically at her. She knew what was coming was dead serious.

"No one told you?" He said.

Asuka shook her head but still didn't break eye contact. "What… Are they hiding? I know Ryo died. Everyone died. But we all came back thanks to Judai."

"Asuka…"

"Edo! Please tell me!" She pleaded.

"Those Underground Duels… They did something to him, to his heart. You have to know this, Asuka, he was in deep pain-"

Tears finally began to leak quickly from her eyes. "What the hell are you talking about? We all saw him, you were there! He was perfectly healthy and there aren't any Underground Duels in that-"

"That's not it, _you_ weren't there. He'd been hiding his problems for as long as he can. They started affecting him long time ago… I'm sorry Asuka."

"Then he really is…?" She already knew the answer.

"Yes, he's gone."

She stared at him for a split second before finally breaking eye contact.

Next, she turned around and ran away from everyone. Muffled screams coming from her mouth.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

She ran and ran, sobbing her heart out. It was most likely the shock that was affecting her so much. She had so much hope. Not once that she think Ryo was gone forever. Not once did she think about his pain. Asuka tripped over a protruding trunk root and feel forward.

The sun started to dim almost instantly as storm clouds took their place.

Pit-pat pit-pat pit-pat 

_Pit-pat-pit-pat-pit-pat_

It began to rain heavily which worsened her heart even more. Every drop fell like bullets, stinging her exposed skin and soaking her clothes.

She was in the middle of the island forest. The decayed leaves, dirt, grass, and twigs began to smell but she didn't get up. Her distressed body remained face down on the ground.

Old memories began flashing in her mind. Tears poured from her eyes even faster.

"Fubuki's his old self again, huh? Will that be a good thing, Asuka?" 

"_You still have your key, Asuka. I lost mine already. Always know I'll be here to protect you."_

"_I'll be leaving here. This Lighthouse holds so many memories of me. Maybe Fubuki will be there to save you instead, now."_

"_No, you really… did save Fubuki, Asuka."_

"Why did you go, Ryo!" Asuka screamed. She pounded the ground with her fists. She continued to scream but the deafening rain drowned her voice out.

Asuka welled in her deep anguish until sleep eventually took her, in the heavy storm.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"She has Pneumonia." Emi said to the gang.

"How do you know?" Fubuki asked, glancing at his sister, deeply concerned. "Did you make any tests at all?"

Emi shook her head. "I didn't need too. She began to hack up blood a short while after you guys brought her in. Now she's clutching her chest a lot and her breath's so short."

Everyone looked at unconscious Asuka. She didn't look very peaceful. Her cheeks were flushed, beads of sweat were all over her face, and shuddering gasps escaped her lips every minute.

"Asuka will be okay, right?" Edo asked eagerly, he felt guilty about letting her get away and losing sight of her.

"I was just about to get to that… She'll be fine. Actually she'll be up and working in just a few days. Just in time for the…" Her voice trailed off as Judai and Johan shot her an urgent look.  
"Well, it's also good because if she were left in the rain any longer, her symptoms would've been far serious."

"Ryo…" Came her faint and fragile plea. Her voice was raspy.

Everyone was dead quiet.

"Ryo…" She said again. Her eyes were clenched. That was her last word before she fell completely unconscious again.

**Another Week Later…**

"Are you sure you'll be alright?" Fubuki asked his sister again. He wore a black suit. The first time he dressed so formal in a long time. Asuka, herself, wore a simpler black, sleeveless dress.

"I'm fine Nii-san. I want to be there for his funeral." She replied in a monotone voice.

They stepped outside. It was beautiful morning weather, in contrast to the recent storm. The sky was dyed vivid blue, pink, then a bright gold.

Fubuki walked ahead of her while she stopped to gaze up and ponder her thoughts.  
_He's not dead._

It seemed like no time at all to reach their destination since it was at the opposite coast. A little near the pier, overlooking the expanding ocean.

Asuka looked around her; she noticed how so many people were there, older adults and students alike. They gathered in small groups, talking about their _own_ lives. How their children were doing. Which schools were good. How their spouses treated them. All the little things. She resisted that sinful urge to shout at them for being so selfish. Ryo was gone! How could they talk about things like that?

A long, black-clothed table was a short distance away from her. She walked carefully and slowly. Framed photos of Ryo lay in a nice order throughout the ages. The more recent and proper one for a memorial lay in the center. Multi-colored light reflected off its surface. Wisteria blossoms and vines draped it beautifully. (AN: Maru**fuji**, Fuji is the Japanese word for Wisteria.) Pure white lilies clashed with the pitch-black velvet. However, these petty things didn't matter to her. What did matter was the face she was gazing down at.

The photo was just a few years old. It seemed to be taken at his third entry of Duel Academy. Ryo gazed blankly forward. A small smile on his face. Asuka tried to imagine that warm and rare smile without blood splattering across the surface. She couldn't bear it anymore, so she swiftly turned around with the intention of going away with herself. Alone.

However, she turned only to find Sho in the same position as herself. He looked sadly at the young and old pictures of their loved one.

"Do you miss him?" Sho asked. His voice was miraculously steady; a feat Asuka couldn't do herself.

"I… can't answer that. I'm… sorry." She walked away this time. Away from the disgusting and superficial pictures.

With just a small distance away, she found Johan in front of her. His colorful eyes in a firm look. Suddenly, he kneeled down and bowed his head, right in front of her.

Asuka was shocked at this sudden gesture, she didn't say anything and he stood up.  
"I'm sorry," he said. "It was really all my fault, I-"

"No," Asuka said. "It isn't your fault. Not at all. I should actually thank you. You gave Ryo that feeling he had longed ever since. You were able to make him feel the passion of dueling. Something I could have never given to him."

Tears welled in her eyes for the countless time again. She turned away. The last thing she wanted to do was cry in front of another person. Walking away again, Asuka now didn't know where she was heading. She was just walking to give herself something to do.  
She passed a small group of students. They were all Obelisk boys, the same ones that had tailed Ryo around like stupid parasites, maybe hoping for a shred of recognition from the great Kaiser.

Asuka didn't care about their lowly form of behavior in the past. It was what they were saying that pulled a trigger within her.

"Ugh, I just hate that Ryo guy."

"I know, thanks to him, my girlfriend broke up with me just to go and woo him! Give me a break!"

"Yeah, good riddance. The world's now rid of one more guy who acted like he had a stick shoved up his ass."

They all laughed and sipped their beverages. Asuka's golden eyes flashed dangerously. Her knuckles cracked as she balled her fists so tightly…

Despite her rage, it took every last ounce of her will to remain rooted to the spot until the small group shuffled away.

Asuka shut her eyes in an attempt to calm down. She wasn't going to start anything. Not here, not now.

_Asuka…_

"Stop!" She said in a harsh whisper to herself. Her eyes still closed. When she was sure she wasn't going to another mind attack, she found it safe to open her eyes.  
Not Quite.

It was even more crowded than it already was. The slow moving of black hurt her eyes, but out of the corner of her eye, she saw a quick and brief stride of deep teal hair…

Instantly, she turned around to see who it was. But there was no one there. She ran forward to see if he was hiding behind a large couple of group. Still no one, only the black suits and dresses that glinted horribly.

_Not here_

The same teal hair and white Obelisk uniform flashed again at the opposite corner of her eye. Asuka ran even faster to see if her eyes were deceiving her.

_Not there_

She found no one of interest, yet the same person kept on catching the attention of her eyes.

She looked like a curious puppy being played, as she ran back and forth, in different directions only to find nothing, nothing at all.

_Not anywhere_

Suddenly, she felt a familiar hand on her shoulder. She whirled around, a small shred of hope that it was Kaiser Ryo.

_He's not here_

It was only Fubuki. "Asuka, its time. They're going to say their speeches." Asuka wanted to shout that she didn't care about the goddamn speeches, but she held back that feeling to throw it in the pile of many others.  
"O-okay."

They took a seat at the front. Asuka didn't feel comfortable at all. Ryo (or rather, Hell Kaiser's) fairly new and ex-manager walked up to the podium to speak. His words entered one ear and out the other for Asuka. Every bitter thought to respond to his phrases disappeared completely the second after she made them.

_He's only a great loss to you because your budget will come spiraling down now that he's gone, you stupid bastard. I passionately hate your kind. The same ones who made him the way he was._

It seemed like barely a minute before the business figure stepped down. Samajima spoke next. She half-heartedly tried to take some attention to his words, with no avail obviously.

He stepped down as well, when Edo came up, did she take notice. When he was away from the general crowd, Asuka had noticed that his usual gray suit was replaced by another black one.

"I know a lot of you are thinking I'm going to show off my bragging rights, but I'm not. Really." He paused and looked around. "I admit, that Ryo and I definitely got off on the wrong foot and all but back then I was a pretty-stupid fifteen year old." He smiled. Asuka actually smiled as well. Edo certainly knew whom he was talking about.

"I'm sure that everyone who had the pleasure (or misfortune) of knowing him, knew he was a pretty boring moron." Some people understood the hidden meaning and laughed or smiled. Most others look aghast though. "I'd get more depth into that but apparently, now's not the right time. I'll either tell or remind other people," he looked at Asuka directly, "That when people die, they're not gone. They'll be there when you need them. Trust me, I know it."

That was all. Asuka wanted him to go on, at least give some more comfort but he stepped down like all the rest, misery regained its place in her heart again.

Asuka looked up at the sky again. It was already dimming to evening. _The past hours go by so fast…_  
Everyone around her stood up and walked away to continue what they were previously doing. Asuka wanted to sit there, hoping no one was going to disturb her. That same flash of teal hair caught her eye again. Asuka whirled her head but whatever it was, had already vanished.

_It's like this place is haunted._

Despite her inner protests, Asuka got up as well and planned to walk to the one place. The one place where she and he had always used to meet: The Lighthouse.

She took the time to walk back to the Obelisk Girl's dorm to change. She just didn't feel right with her current garments on.

When she reached the inside of her dorm room. She quickly took off her dress absentmindedly and threw it carelessly on the floor. Grabbing a fresh uniform, she changed fast; it was like she was expecting someone for her at the lighthouse.

It was a strange, far-fetched, yet somehow understandable feeling. Asuka's hopes had already been extinguished several times before, but somehow those hopes still continued to burn. It was like some dire and silent battle within her. Her cold sadness accepting that Kaiser was dead and that smoldering cinder that still manages to keep alit.

It seemed like that no one had noticed Asuka had left. By the time she reached the pier undetected, it was already late evening. The sky was a deeper blue fading off to violet. She lowered herself on the warm concrete. Salty mist sprayed her exposed legs. She then bent over to stare at the water.

Her reflection couldn't really be seen since the waves were rough and they grew fiercer as the minutes went by. She might've been imagining it, but her heart skipped a beat as she saw a faint overlay of Ryo, right there in the midst of the water.

"Did you love me?" Asuka asked quietly.

Then reality hit her more than ever.

He was dead.

Dead and gone.

Non-existent.

Not here.

Not anymore.

Twisted feelings of anger, sadness, anguish, and regret boiled through her insides. There were so many things she wanted to tell him, give him. Talk to him one more time. But it was too late. Kaiser Ryo Marufuji had already left this world.

Of course he didn't love her. His Hell Kaiser persona paid no mind to her. Before Johan was about to duel Ryo for the first time, she had called out "Ryo!" seeing his face through the holographic portal. She had cried out, in hopes of him paying her at least one fleeting second of attention. Maybe smile, show a sign. At least one for all those years they had spent away from each other.

But he didn't. He looked forward at Johan instead. He was only interested in the victory he was about to win from the teenager than was standing just a few yards from her. Dueling and victory was his only passion.

_I was so foolish._

"I just wanted to tell you. I just wanted you to at least know… I didn't want to give up until you knew. But either way, it's too late. Ryo…"

Asuka removed all force from her muscles and let herself fall forward, to let the sea claim her life.

Something or someone grabbed the back of her collar just in time.

"_You moron, what the hell are you thinking?" _Came a voice.

Whatever was holding on to her, pulled her back away from the edge.  
"How's killing yourself going to help things?"

Asuka opened her eyes to find black-sleeved arms on her shoulders, pressing her lightly against the lighthouse. She moved her gaze slowly up.

Silver-rimmed black trench coat.

Black turtleneck.

And those brilliant teal locks of hair.

"You're not real…" She said. Her vision blurred significantly and hot tears rolled down her cheeks. She furiously wiped them away, she has already cried enough.

Ryo wrapped his hand around her wrist to keep Asuka from slapping herself.

"I'm real, see?"

She saw. She could barely feel him though.  
"I was right then. Everyone was lying. You're not dead!" She said the last sentence loudly.

Sadness filled his emerald eyes.  
"No, Asuka, I did die…"

"What are you talking about-" Then she looked at the hand clasped around her wrist. She can see a faint and barely noticeable figure of her thin wrist.  
Asuka swallowed, before asking, "W-what happened to you?"

He finally let go. Asuka felt no difference. No difference in the temperature or any body heat that was supposed to have left her arm.  
"My physical body's dead. I'm only a silhouette of my former self."

Asuka placed her hand on his lap. She felt nothing but there was a force there that prevented her limp hand from falling and hitting the ground. "A ghost?"

"Maybe."

Asuka lifted her hand and wrapped herself around him. "That's good enough for me…" She could feel her longer locks of hair being lifted.  
"I'm sorry for what I've put all of you guys through, especially you, Asuka."

"No…" She slightly pulled away to look up at him. True, his form was opaque but his eyes were their fullest as ever.

"_I _should be sorry. I…" She paused to look away. "I wasn't able to give you anything… and now, I still can't." Alexis felt this guilt bubbling in her stomach. She bit her tongue nervously. It was true; Judai and Johan had given Ryo's last and desired feeling of a duelist's true power. Sho was his brother and was present at his death. Fubuki had been with him since the beginning. And she, Asuka had done nothing.

"You're wrong." Those words made her look up again at Ryo. His gaze bored deep down into hers. "When no one else would, you were the first to answer my call."

Asuka's eyes widened. "Then it was really you…? You were there."

Ryo smiled lightly. "An essence of me. This was the only place where I could talk to you. Tell you everything before… Before I moved on."

Asuka felt like it, but she didn't cry. "Then I've realized… that you aren't staying."

"I wish I could, but I can't, Asuka. I have to move on."

Asuka closed her eyes, her lips forming into a smile. "Edo told me… Ryo… I'm glad that you aren't in any pain anymore… And you died the way you wanted to."  
It was Ryo's turn to feel a little nervous. "Don't talk like that…"  
"Why," she asked, still smiling; It became obvious that it was fake. "It's true."

"Do you think I'll let myself truly die with these regrets?"

She stopped her façade. "I'm sorry."

"Stop saying that," Ryo said firmly, it shocked her. "When I'm gone, I don't want you to be like this. Dont let your thoughts of me get in the way of your life. Make your own decisions. Live your own life to the fullest, and don't make my mistakes. You have to let me go, Asuka. That's why im here, so you know..."

"I just wish I can be with you… To make up the time already lost." Asuka stated a little hesitantly.  
She looked towards the horizon. The large sun was already setting now. The sky turned from a nice pink-blue hue to a blinding yellow to blood red.

"My time's a little up… Asuka, maybe you won't be with me but…" He held her closer and moved his face towards hers. "I'll always be with you. I promised you long time ago, no matter what, if Fubuki fails I'll be there for you."  
And then… it was predictable, yet not so predictable. They had finally kissed. A happy ending? Maybe it was, Asuka could actually feel him for that dire moment.

They parted and as the light dimmed, so did he.

Asuka asked him the question, "Ryo… do you love me?"

He smiled his one last true smile.

_"Always."_

_**Fin.**_

**-X-**

Oh god, I finally finished it! You can interpret the ending how you want it to be. I'm not sure if this was as good as it COULD be, but Im not looking for critique. This was mainly just to vent my emotions.

I know the beginning is practically a drabble and the grand end was really mushy and dramatic... but again, e-m-o-t-i-o-n-a-l-v-e-n-t-i-n-g

Though your reviews and positive thoughts are welcome.  
Now another thing: Like Ryo was telling Asuka, you cant let his death hold you down. Continue the fandom.

Because the Kaiser we all love is physically gone...

Does that mean we give up on the fandom? NO

Does that mean we fall in love with Judai instead? NO

Does that mean we stop drawing him? NO

Does that mean we stop writing about him? NO

In other words...

**DOES THAT MEAN WE STOP TORTURING HIM???**

If your answers yes, then you can go suck it. Harhar.

-With love from Kaisre


End file.
